TheCrimeShop.com » 2006

Jul27th

Lock Him in a Log Cabin and Throw Away the Key

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

Now this is what I call a sticky situation. Here’s a crime that will really stick to him. Looks like he’s just plain stuck now. Someone, please shoot me.
BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) - A man convicted of stealing maple syrup has been sentenced to between five and 10 years in prison.
Stephen R. Bain, 53, was […]

Posted in Contributors | 1 Comment »

Jul27th

Anthrax Impersonators You Don?t See at County Fairs

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

A jail inmate sending fake Anthrax letters from his jail cell? That’s pretty dumb. The only way it could be dumber is if he put his full name and inmate number on the letter. Oh wait…
NEW YORK (Reuters) - A prison inmate pleaded guilty on Tuesday to sending letters to the FBI and secret service […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul26th

Jersey Boy

Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

This story doesn’t technically meet the definition of a “dumb criminal.” It’s more of a “smart customs agent” story, but it’s hard to make a humor blog out of crafty airport employees. The material ain’t exactly a seller’s market.
NICOSIA (Reuters) - An England football shirt gave away a Senegalese man attempting to enter Cyprus […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul24th

Polly Want a Supoena?

Monday, July 24th, 2006

What’s the most vengeful force on the Earth? Fear? Hate? Republicans? Nope, it’s good ol’ Mother Nature, the only force on Earth that can order thousands of cute bunny rabbits to rip you to pieces. I’m sure the Republicans are working on something similar, maybe with lemurs.
LONDON (AP) - An ill-tempered parrot left English […]

Posted in Contributors | 1 Comment »

Jul19th

Grand Theft Boat

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

To all of you would be boat thieves reading this (First of all, what are you stupid? We have cars now! We moved out of the Viking age years ago!), here’s a little tip: if you’re going to steal a boat, make sure you know how to drive the damn thing and if that doesn’t […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul17th

A Not-So-Clean Getaway

Monday, July 17th, 2006

Oh, I knew the minute I read this story about two crooks who tried to literally “launder” some money they stole from a bank, thousands of newspapers and TV stations across the nation would be stuffing as many “laundry” and “wash” puns into their headlines and teasers as they could. After this is all done, […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul17th

Check Wreck

Monday, July 17th, 2006

Alexis Solis of Anytown U.S.A. send us this tale of treachery by three people who thought they could get away with check fraud by stealing a bank teller’s checkbook and then cashing the checks where the teller worked.
SYLVESTER, Ga. (WSB) — Three people accused of stealing checks in Worth County went to the wrong […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul12th

Take the Beanie and Run

Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

What’s lower than stealing a Beanie Baby? Stealing it from a small child? Stealing it from a dying child? Stealing it from a small, dying child and then punching said child out? How about stealing a Beanie Baby off of a gravesite…
A 43-year-old woman pleaded not guilty to a felony theft charge this week after […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul10th

No Rocket Scientists

Monday, July 10th, 2006

Some capers make you wonder why such a person would use a mind for their evil deeds. Other capers make you wonder if such a person has a mind to use for their evil deeds.
COLUMBIA Mo. (Columbia Daily Tribune) — Missouri Highway Patrol trooper Tommy Wally pulled over the pair, opened the trunk of the […]

Posted in Contributors | No Comments »

Jul10th

Watch Me If You Can

Monday, July 10th, 2006

I’m no expert on the criminal mind, but the most hardcore of criminals must have some kind of instinct that pushes them to brag about and let people know of their dirty work. Maybe that’s why the SEC didn’t pursue Kenneth Lay so hard out of the starting gate because they were waiting for him […]