I mean come on! If your moral compass is so out of whack you break into the local whinery shouldn’t it be a given a little illicit tasting might happen.

A West Deer winery was burglarized and vandalized Monday night by a man who had come from a drug and alcohol treatment center just down the road.

The 18-year-old suspect broke into La Casa Narcisi Winery on Gibsonia Road using a piece of lumber, broke several bottles of wine, and tampered with three of the 1,000-liter tanks where the wine was being stored, said West Deer Police Chief Jon Lape.

Damage was estimated at $20,000 — but will be more than $100,000 if the wine in the tanks is judged to have gone bad.

Jesse Derflinger of Beaver Falls was arrested soon after the break-in, and charged with burglary, theft, receiving stolen property, criminal mischief, disorderly conduct and public intoxication, said Chief Lape.

One would hope in judging any spoilage within the tanks a “urine sniff test” would conducted.

P.S. Would you be surprised to learn the reason this grape juice thief was in the area was because he was attending the Ridgeview Adolescent Behavioral Health Center? Citing medical privacy laws, Ridgeview spokeswoman Andrea Young could not reveal whether Mr. Derflinger was a client at the treatment center.

Yea, riiiight! He was just using the Behavioral Health Center, a half mile from the winery, to case the joint out. He doesn’t actually have any “behavioral” problems and would never be a client there!

Cross Posted @ Pickled Pundit

Technorati Tags: Alcohol, Vandalism, wine, detox

A fight between two motel maids, armed with a plunger and a mop, ended with one in hospital and the other in jail.

The women accused each other of taking toilet rolls from each other’s cleaning carts at a motel in Charleston, South Carolina.

Police were called after the fight left one of the women, 52, with a welt requiring hospital treatment, reports the Post and Courier.

The other maid, Deloris Smith, 47, told police she was defending herself from a woman wielding a plunger.

She was charged with assault.

Two masked robbers tried to hold up a cashless credit union bank at gunpoint in California.

They burst into the ‘bank’ at Benicia with weapons drawn and shouted at employees to hand over the money, reports the San Francisco Chronicle.

“I would say that apparently they weren’t really prepared,” said Benicia police Capt. Steve Mortensen.

The robbers apparently had no idea they’d attempted to rob a credit union that immediately deposits its money, making it impossible for anyone to access it, he said.

“It’s a common theme among a lot of credit unions.”

Schoolboys stole to fund red light trips.

A gang of Austrian schoolboys stole £18,000 worth of valuables to finance after school visits to prostitutes.

The four boys, aged 14 to 15 and unnamed for legal reasons, took laptops, mobile phones and wallets from teachers and other children at their school in Graz.

They then took their loot to the local red light district and handed it over to prostitutes in return for free sex sessions.

According to a Graz police spokesman, the boys were caught after an investigation into increased local school crime.

Since when is payment of £18,000 classified as “free?”